I made a last second choice to go visit the cemetery today (nobody in my immediate family or friend group died…). I was driving home from lunch and drove past my city’s main cemetery. As I stopped at the red light in front of the cemetery, an old video that talked about how the cemetery is the richest place on earth came to mind. After having such a stressful week, I decided last second to make a right and turn into the cemetery. Just to keep in mind…this was in the middle of the day on my day off. I didn’t know where I was going, but I stopped my car along the edge of the road I was on. I hit the “emergency” park button, turned the car off, and just started walking across the lawn.
All I did initially was look at the graves…oh this guy died at 60…oh this girl died at 22… oh this girl died at 50…this guy died when I was born…this guy died at 19 while serving in the war (got a purple heart too!)…this guy died at 5…and the list goes on and on. I really wasn’t looking for anything specific. But the first thing after walking around for 15 minutes was…I didn’t find anybody who lived to 100. Out of like the 100 or so graves I passed, the oldest person was like 95. Most of the people died in their 60s and 70s. And that really got me thinking…I’m 28 right now. 60 / 28 is ~2. That means…if I were to die at 60, I already lived half my life. And I thought…boy…what a waste of half of my life. I’ll admit – I was pretty cynical right then and there, but after having such a bad week..it just got me thinking how much time I waste by doing something I don’t like and stressing out about it…
So then I thought…let’s go find somebody who died when they were 28. I just wanted to stand there and think “this could’ve been me here”. I wanted to feel some emotional tug that would really get me to go after life. So I kept searching…unfortunately, I couldn’t find somebody who was 28 but I found somebody who was 22. I stood there in front of the grave for about 5 minutes or so because it was really hot outside and I needed to go use the restroom. I just thought…”this could’ve been me here. I could’ve got hit by a bus or something and end up here.”
As I drove off, I didn’t feel the emotional tug that I wanted to but it got me thinking more about how faulty my assumption is that most people (including me) will live to 100. Most people I saw died way earlier than that. I don’t want to go to my grave and only carry regret about what I could’ve done or what I wanted to do more of in life. I would rather live a life where I’ve explored and tried my interests than live a life of complacency and safety.
