-before class-
“Hey Jerry – have you found a monologue you would like to work on?”
“Not yet Phil”
—-
– class ends-
“Here’s a monologue for you to take a look Jerry. It’s by Christopher Durang”
“Thanks Phil!”
“You should take a look at other monologues as well. You need to be the one who looks for and chooses a piece to work on.”
When I heard him say that last sentence, it felt like a slap in the face. I’m in my late twenties and I still expected somebody else to do my work for me. How lazy and entitled am I?
Now I have to give a little context because my teacher isn’t being a hardass – I had a phone conversation with my acting teacher 3 days before class. I was asked to research and/or find a monologue to work on. A monologue is a speech made by one person speaking his or her thoughts aloud or directly addressing a reader, audience or character. I didn’t do any research or find a monologue – mostly because I was lazy. I had a feeling (bordering on expectation) that my teacher would just do the work for me and give me a scene to work on.
As I write this post, I’m feeling embarrassed for what happened. But part of the blog’s vision is to document my journey in turning over bad habits and becoming a better person. Going through and learning from the tough and embarrassing situations are parts of that journey.
Growing up lazy and entitled
I grew up very entitled, but it wasn’t because my parents were rich. It was because I was extremely dumb, lazy, and needed so much help in school. If I had failed a class, my parents would come in to the rescue and plead with the teacher to still let me move forward a grade. When I was in high school, my whole curriculum was planned by my parents every year. All I had to do was show up and put in the work needed to pass class.
When I went to college, my mindset didn’t change all that much. Everything was sort of laid out for me without much thinking or work on my part. All I had to do was follow. “Take these courses during these semesters. Go get some internships. Study and work hard and you’ll get good grades.”
I thought that to be the same in the workplace once I entered the corporate world. I expected the company to give me a map of my career path with specific jobs and roles I should take. And that’s when I got the reality check – the company will not do that for you. And when they weren’t doing what I was expecting, I started getting lazy and frustrated because I didn’t know where to go next. Nobody told me what to do and I was too scared to make a choice because I wasn’t sure if it was the right one for my career (which I also didn’t know much about). I was also on track to quiet quitting my job.
The stress got so bad that I had to go part time to take a break and do some introspection (had a short blog on this here!). How could I address this profound sense of laziness? Why am I feeling so entitled to everything? Why do I feel so lost? How can I just escape? What do I have to do to overcome this situation? In the words of Jordan Peterson, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
Take Responsibility
Taking responsibility for your life is one of the ways to stop being lazy and entitled. So what does taking responsibility look like? It’s carrying the load; fulfilling the duty that’s in front of you; delaying the instant or short term gratification; owning up to the bad situation or outcome and moving forward. You also have to plan out how you are going to do those things because simply just thinking about it or saying it isn’t going to do much.
It’s not easy. It won’t be easy. There’s no one specific way about doing it. Take it one step at a time but make it so that you’re going in the right direction.
Seek Accountability
Whether it be a mentor, friend, or family member, find somebody who you trust who can keep you true to your actions. I know that I suck at self-accountability so that’s why I feel like having a partner is so much more effective for keeping you in check for those times when you start to get lazy or fall behind. They can give you that additional mmph or step you need to get back on track.
I knew I was lazy during my acting class. I’d tell myself everyday to go and research monologues to work on, but I always found an excuse to not do it. To have my teacher tell me that I had to do better was like extra firepower to stop making excuses and to put in better work.
Something that’s even better – find an accountability partner whose also struggling with the same thing you are or trying to achieve the same goal as you. You’d essentially be trying to help yourself succeed when you help your partner. That act of service provides so much fulfillment that it’ll make the journey you are on more fun and meaningful.
Be Confident. Stay Curious.
