The feelings of being alone slowly started creeping in as I drove off from the airport. I had just dropped off my college friend. It had been a while since I’ve had someone come visit me. We had done a 5 day trip around Arizona. I had so much fun exploring and sharing the amazing views and food that Arizona had to offer. As soon as I drove off, the feeling of loneliness kicked in. I felt heavy. I felt empty. Being alone sucked at that moment. I thought…man I feel like I won’t be able to have this much fun anymore. I almost felt cold in a way because I wanted to shiver. My body was trying to find a way to warm up.
The thing is – being alone isn’t a new thing for me. I’ve sort of been living on my own ever since college (I’ve had roommates come and go but majority of the time I’ve lived by myself). Nowadays, I spend a majority of my day and time alone (mostly because I work from home and COVID). But there are days where I felt like I was living the best I could because I was doing the best I could in accomplishing personal goals. I felt mentally balanced and focused. I felt fulfilled. Whether it was just doing a good job at work or investing in hobbies and side hustles, being alone wasn’t bad.
And that’s where I believe that there’s an art to being alone. I’m not trying to sound super philosophical or extra when I say being alone is an art, but there’s some sort of gray area where being alone isn’t always bad. It can be just as good as spending time with people. But just like art, it’s quite complex in how you define how being alone can be good for you. Everybody has a different threshold for how much time they can and want to spend with people vs with themselves.
Before I go on, I did want to share some parts of my trip around the great state of Arizona. Sometimes these topics I write can be quite heavy on my mind or yours so a small break is good. Grab a snack or a pencil and paper because you’ll want to jot some of these places down to visit!
Arizona nature ooohhh-ahhhhh
I will admit that I was very tempted to just keep the fun and travelling local to where I live. Stay in the house and just explore the local city of Tucson. Keep it relaxing you know? No need to drive all the way up and hike in the cold weathers in the Grand Canyon and Sedona (which were the only two places we could fit in).
But here’s the thing. The Grand Canyon, Sedona, and many other breathtaking and unique environments are in Arizona. You can’t get them anywhere else. I felt like I would be doing a disservice if I hadn’t tried to take him to those places. He’s always grown up on the East Coast so all the mountains and red rocks would be new and exciting to see. Here are some of the things we did with some personal recommendations.
Grand Canyon
For those who haven’t heard of the Grand Canyon, it’s a massive canyon that’s been carved out by the Colorado River. According to the Grand Canyon National Park Service, it’s roughly 278 miles long (according to Wikipedia, it’s up to 18 miles wide and up to roughly 1 mile deep). I usually like to describe things with numbers but just numbers and photos don’t do enough justice to describe how majestic and stunning the Grand Canyon is. It’s just one of those things where you have to go and see for yourself.
My friend and I only spent a day at the Grand Canyon so we could only fit in one hike. We did the South Kaibab to Skeletal Point trail. It’s one of the more popular trails and has awesome views of the Grand Canyon. I figured out only after finishing the hike that I had done it the last time I was at the Grand Canyon. It felt refreshing to come back and do it again. If you only spend a day here in the Grand Canyon, I’d recommend this trail!
Here are some photos!
Sedona
Sedona Sedona…it’s just this small city filled with so many hidden gems of hikes and views that I almost feel like is unfair to have. I’ve only been to Sedona twice since moving to Tucson and I honestly feel bad that I don’t go there enough. There’s a bountiful of hikes that give you gorgeous views of its juniper forests, red colored cliffs, incredible rock formations (kind of like the Grand Canyon), and much more.
I know I can’t compare Sedona to the Grand Canyon because the environments and landscapes are quite different but the only thing I would say is that I enjoy the views of the Sedona landscape more than the Grand Canyon. While both are just extraordinary, I felt like the views were more dynamic and open. It’s like different rock formations that can be singled out and admired.
We were able to squeeze two hikes in because both were a bit shorter in length. We did Devil’s Bridge and Cathedral Rock. I think both hikes are very doable and can be done in one day. I wouldn’t call myself and my friend experienced hikers but we do work out to keep ourselves in shape. So we weren’t dying after both hikes. Cathedral Rock is definitely the harder hike of the two. It’s almost 750ft of elevation game in less than a mile. It’s pretty steep so it’s best to hike it with hiking boots…You can do Devil’s Bridge with normal sneakers…assuming you hike it when it’s dryer and not snowing…
Here are some pictures!
Being alone isn’t always bad
I feel like being alone often carries a negative connotation. When someone is alone, I think it’s because the person is feeling sad, lonely, ashamed, or sick. While those are perfectly valid reasons to be alone, those aren’t the only reasons why a person is alone or wants to be alone. When I was in college, I remember a friend telling me “I feel so burnt out from hanging out with people and going to all these networking events. I just need to be alone in my dorm and do nothing or just binge watch my favorite show”. Although what they said made sense logically, it didn’t make sense to me emotionally.
I’ve never been burnt out from hanging out with other people to the point where I needed to spend time by myself to heal. Lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been burnt out because I’m so caught up in the go go go mentality for my career and life in my late 20’s that I forget what my goals are. I have been, and still am so some extent, clueless about who I am myself.
I’ve spent more time with myself because I want to clearly know what my values, beliefs, and thoughts are about my life; it’s almost like I’m prioritizing my relationship with myself first before my friendship with others. Being alone has helped me be more focused and present in my life. It’s made me realize how important my own mental and physical health is. It’s helped me start to identify and uproot a lot of bad habits like my pursuits of instant gratification. I’ve started to plant new habits like meditation and working out that has driven me to live healthier and better.
This idea of having a relationship with yourself has not only become more mainstream but it’s something I really believe is important to living a fulfilling life. I still value my friendships with other people, but if I’m not confident in who I am, then I feel like I’ll be swept away by the external values I used to place so highly on myself from other people.
So being alone is not always bad. I believe the art of being alone is being able to enjoy being by yourself. And that requires having a good relationship with yourself. I haven’t mastered this art yet but a relationship with yourself or anybody else is never formed in a day or a week or a month or even a year. It’s over a lifetime. *mic drop*
Being alone vs being lonely
When I was writing my first draft of this post, I was dipping my feet into both areas or ideas of being alone and being lonely. They sound very similar but they’re two different ideas. I think that being alone can be good. Being lonely I think is a whole different issue. Being lonely feels like there’s nobody in your life that understands you. That reaches out to you. That wants to hang out with you. And I think that’s more often than not a not so good feeling to have. I’ll save that for another post. I just wanted to point out the difference.
I’m curious to know – do you share the same thoughts about how being alone can be good? Any other thoughts or points you want to share or add? I’d love to hear them.
Also if you have any questions about my trip to the Grand Canyon or Sedona, fill free to ask!
As always,
Be Confident. Stay Curious.