If there is a piece of advice I would give to college students or to my younger self, it would be to get a mentor.
I’ve heard of this advice myself when I was in college. It sounds logical and straightforward…but!
Seeking mentorship is actually a bit harder than it sounds. I believe there are 2 requirements for seeking mentorship. One is much harder than the other.
Seeking mentorship comes with 2 pre-reqs
The 2 pre-requisites for seeking out a mentor are to have a need for mentorship and to be comfortable with being vulnerable.
1. Have a need or reason
If you don’t have a good reason for wanting a mentor, then you’re not going to want to seek a mentor. And even if you do land one, the mentor-mentee relationship won’t be helpful. You won’t ask questions and the mentor won’t know how to help.
To be honest, I’ve done this before. I’ve asked people at work to be my mentors without really knowing why. Even though I wasn’t interested in getting the technical wisdom and guidance from them, I did it because people told me to seek mentors at work to help grow my career. I ended up not meeting up with them.
The reasons for mentorship can be many, but it has to be related to who you are and what you want.
My current mentorship
I asked my previous boss at work to be my mentor because I was looking for somebody who had experience with career changes and could both guide and encourage me through my own career change journey. We have been meeting at least once a month.
Every meeting, I have questions or open up about struggles I’ve had with pursuing my career change. She’s been super helpful in encouraging me to keep going when things get tough.
2. Be comfortable being vulnerable
This is the harder requirement for seeking mentorship because being vulnerable is difficult.
Are you comfortable asking tough and uncomfortable questions? Are you comfortable being asked such questions? When you’re going through something tough, are you willing to open up about your struggles that you would normally keep to yourself?
Your mentor is there to help you with these tough issues. If you aren’t comfortable opening up, it’s hard for your mentor to know how to help you.
Before I had my first mentor in college, I was completely uncomfortable opening up to people (even to my first college mentor). It took like a solid 2 years to change.
Once you meet the requirements for seeking mentorship, then it’s time to start looking for one! If you’re curious on how to ask someone to mentor you, it’s as simple and straightforward as asking them to be your mentor!
Find the right mentor
It should be noted that it is important to find the right person to mentor you.
Just to give you some idea…I’ve had 3 hiring managers or bosses before my mentor became my boss. It’s not to say that my 3 previous hiring managers were bad. I just wasn’t comfortable being open and transparent with them.
When I first met my mentor, she had just become a hiring manager. During the introduction meeting with the team, she was super transparent about her career experience. She also said something along the lines of – “if you are really struggling with what you’re doing or your career, please come talk to me because I don’t want you to hate what you’re doing. I want to help you.”
It felt genuine when I heard her say that. After working with her for a couple of more weeks, I felt like she was somebody who I could trust.
We just met last week to do a little cooking party. I ended up cooking something I learned from Gordon Ramsay. Salmon on a bed of boiled roasted potatoes and crab claw meet. I added some oven roasted cherry tomatoes. My mentor made some Thai sticky rice and BBQ pork + shrimp. For dessert, I bought some Passion Fruit Sorbet; a neighbor brought some homemade fruit salad.
