I had gotten sick last weekend and quarantined myself inside my house for 3 days. Quarantined is such a normal term now after living through the pandemic…
On Monday night, I took a walk outside to get some fresh air and to help digest my dinner. Thankfully, the sky was clear because I was able to get a nice view of the starry night sky. I really wish I had a better camera to capture what I was seeing. This was the best I got with my phone.
Fun fact!
Tucson city leaders passed an outdoor lighting ordinance back in 2012 to reduce the amount of light the city generates at night. This is why it gets so dark in Tucson and why it’s so much easier to see the stars at night!
Feeling small but thinking big
When I looked at the stars, I was in awe. The starry night was absolutely stunning.
I also felt really small staring at the night sky. All these stars…millions and billions of miles away…some bigger than Earth itself…and I’m just this person…of 8 billion people on Earth. I’ll never leave this planet in my lifetime.
For some reason, those thoughts really made my problems and worries I had stressed about really insignificant.
When all that stress leaked away, my mind started to wander. I thought of what I wanted in life….where I wished I could be. I thought of the “what ifs in life” possibilities like “what if I produced a short film” or “what if I trained really hard and actually won a volleyball tournament?” or “what if I went for that job in a different industry where it was more likely to get laid off?”
It’s not the first time these thoughts have come up. I end up putting off or forgetting or kind of losing hope in these possibilities because of all the anxiety and stress I put myself through.
In order to convince myself to not give up and pursue these “what ifs in life” possibilities, I tell myself this: just go and do it. just try.
And the thing that scares me the most is that I’ll fail at accomplishing those things and feel discouraged to try anything else. It’s like asking a random girl out to the dance floor at an open dance night, getting rejected, and then not wanting to dance for the rest of the night.
It’s tough to go and commit yourself to the act of pursuing the unknown.
But I think that’s how most things that are worth pursuing in life are, you know? Because if those things weren’t tough to get, wouldn’t everybody be doing it?
Just a thought 🙂
A bit of a shorter blog post since I’m still recovering from a cold. One of the more “in the moment” blogs.
Have a great weekend!
